Don't Eat the Flower
by Kari Anna
Summary: Rated for safety. Oneshot. Anakin and ObiWan unknowingly eat a hallucinogenic plant. ObiWan craziness ensues.


Written for Force Haven's first fanfic challenge.

WARNINGS: Um, just that this is the _abridged_ version. The full story will be posted on ForceHaven(dot)com, but this can be read as a oneshot.

Timeline: Set several months before _RotS._

DISCLAIMER: Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll sic Ani-Vader on you, if you sue :)

Obi-Wan growled as he and Anakin turned the corner of Pipsaliin and Dekor. They'd been on this blasted backwater planet for three months-- the name of which they couldn't even pronounce-- and still had seen no sign whatsoever of the danger Yoda had sensed on the stupid mudball. Being tired, hungry, and ice cold didn't help his foul mood any.

His thick-headed former Padawan snapped out of whatever daydream he'd been preoccupied with for the past hour, and glanced at him. "Master, you're shivering!"

_That's an understatement,_ Obi-Wan thought wryly. Outwardly, he tried to form a reply, but found that his jaw had been so tightly clenched against the cold of this planet's night, he couldn't open his mouth. He tried a few more times, with no success, then finally gave up and nodded instead.

Anakin smirked, holding back laughter. "I warned you you should dress for a cold night."

He'd been the only one that had gone out at night for a while, sleeping during the day, and the two Jedi had taken shifts on being out. A few days previous, however, Yoda had contacted them to tell them the danger was too great for either of them to face alone. So they had been out together since a little after noon, and Obi-Wan felt like he had frostbite on most of his extremities.

He felt something warm and heavy descend on his shoulders. Obi-Wan glanced at it. It was Anakin's jacket, a big fluffy thing lined with dalamith down. Snuggling into it, he could hardly believe he'd made fun of Anakin earlier as the young knight pulled it on. It _did_ make its wearer look like a stuffed holiday bird though. The thing puffed out so far that when Obi-Wan's arms were in its sleeves, his arms wouldn't go down like they were supposed to. Plus the sleeves were probably a good five or six centimeters too long, and the body of it nearly reached his knees. All in all, he was sure he looked quite laughable in the jacket.

Like he cared.

He was _warm!_ That was what mattered. Suppressing the urge to grin, he shifted in it. Maybe if he could get it to cover the lower half of his face... _there!_ Maybe he could get his jaw to thaw out so he could speak. They continued to wander, having never stopped.

Until Obi-Wan yelped.

"What in Sith hell!" He threw the jacket off in his fright.

Anakin caught it with the Force before it could hit the ground. A furry little head with small round ears perked forward and little brown eyes trained on Obi-Wan poked out of the jacket. Blushing, Anakin said sheepishly, "Oh, uh, that's my pet pelopin, Nippy. Sorry Master. I forgot she was in there."

Obi-Wan sighed and shook his head. "I think I saw a bar about a block and a half ago. Why don't we head there, before we both freeze."

Anakin nodded. They made their way to the bar and found that it was as warm as they had hoped it would be. And it served _food._ Both knights were ravenous. _But then, Anakin's _always_ hungry,_ Obi-Wan thought with a smile.

_I heard that,_ Anakin sent through the Master-Padawan bond they shared.

The two ordered a meal each, and Anakin insisted that they order something for Nippy. Rolling his eyes, Obi-Wan caved and bought the fuzzy little critter a snack. Anakin, as usual, inhaled his food, and Obi-Wan actually followed his example for once. The two were jerked out of their feeding frenzy-- literally. Obi-Wan looked up into a rather menacing pair of black eyes, set in a grimy square-jawed face.

"Unless you two wanna be cleanin' this place floor to ceiling with a very _small_ brush for the next tenday, you better stop your garbage disposal with fur!" the man snapped, apparently being the owner of the bar.

"Yes si--" Obi-Wan was cut off as Anakin stood up, so fast his chair fell over. He ran off after Nippy.

The owner glanced at Obi-Wan's plate, then said proudly, "I see you ordered our four-dish platter." He looked closer and squinted. "You ate the flower? Uh, sir, that wasn't edible."

"What?"

"That wasn't edible. Those flowers are hallucinogenic to humans," the man explained.

Obi-Wan groaned. _Great. Just great. I'll be loopy for--_ "How long do the effects last?"

"Three to five days, generally, dependin' on weight, size, stuff like that. It should kick in in a hour-- 'less you're a lightweight. Can you hold alcohol okay?"

Obi-Wan had no chance to reply. Anakin, clutching his rather irate pelopin, spoke for him. "Are you kidding? Two drinks and he's out like a light."

The owner shook his head. "Better get your friend back to where you're stayin' then, and fast. 'N don't be s'prised if he starts sayin' all kinds of nonsense on the way. He ate a hallucinogenic flower we put on the plates for decoration."

"We weren't supposed to eat those?"

"Nope," the owner replied, then walked away, leaving Anakin to figure out how to get his pelopin, the monstrosity he called a jacket, and Obi-Wan back to their apartment. Finally, he tucked Nippy into an inner pocket, and he and Obi-Wan wrapped the jacket around both of them, then awkwardly made their way back out onto the street.

Not halfway to their apartment, Obi-Wan began to act strangely. He snickered, then broke into some weird, old-timey song Anakin didn't recognize. He quickly got bored of that though, and began to chat instead. "You know Yoda wears pink undergarments? Some other younglings and I played a prank on him when I was a child. It involved itching powder and hair dye. I swear, his hair was purple for a whole month! Ah, we did a lot of things like that when I was young. One time, we slapped a 'Kick Me' sign on another member of the Council. He walked around with it on the back of his robe the entire day!"

As he continued yammering about his exploits, Anakin's eyes were wide as platters. Yoda's underwear was more than he needed (or _wanted_) to know about, but the rest was... _funny_. He had no idea his master had been such a prankster in his youth. Because of Obi-Wan's alternately calm or uptight demeanor, he'd thought his master was a wet blanket as a youngling.

Suddenly he was the only one in the jacket, and Obi-Wan was laughing as he said in a quiet and conspiratorial tone, "Ani, watch this."

The older knight proceeded to leap forward toward a poor unsuspecting pedestrian. The _only_ other pedestrian on the street, being the time of night that it was. It was then that Anakin noticed there was no movement coming from inside the pocket he'd put Nippy in. _Oh Force,_ he thought. Obi-Wan brandished the furry little creature like a lightsaber, doing flips back and forth over the old man's head. He did a particularly impressive aerial trick, then landed on his feet. He waited a moment.

A pout spread over Obi-Wan's face. "No applause?"

Anakin sighed. It was going to be a long walk back to the apartment.


End file.
